Disconnected thoughts

Recently in the news was a US$1.5 million compensation for a maid being tortured by the Indian Consul General.

I was all the while wondering if this could be true, et all. The fact is that I am a lot cynical when it comes to such kind of news. The head and the heart refuse to agree to each other. With the kind of education and social status that the person in question has, I wonder if she could ever met out such barbaric treatment to another human being. This is what a sane mind of mine thinks. While the heart has a completely opposite perspective. It believes that it is only because of such education and status that a barbaric act is committed.

Some time ago, we had acute shortage of ironed clothes in our house. The iron-wala who does the job had gone missing for a few days together. Also, he had close to two bags of our clothes in his custody while missing. It was a mix and match clothing week for me. While I was narrating this to a friend of mine, she asked, ‘Did you shout at him once he reappeared?’ I smiled. But it gave rise to a chain of thoughts. The fact was I didn’t shout at him. Why should I shout at him? Who gave me the authority to shout at a fellow human being? I asked the friend just one question. ‘Would I have shouted at my boss, had he been guilty of a similar kind of mistake? Or for that matter any mistake at all?’ No. Then, why alone this man?

We believe we can shout at or even raise a hand at people just because they are at a position inferior to us. In this case and even in the case of the maid-torture in the news, it is ‘social status’. By social status, I mean the rich-poor divide. We think we have the liberty to scream at the auto-wala. The waiter in the restaurant. The driver. The maid. The pan-wala. The potti-kadai boy. Just because we have a little more money than them. We are just trying to show we have ‘authority’ over another person.

Wasn’t the iron-wala at fault, you ask. Yes, he was. But will shouting or screaming at him make a difference? I don’t think so. If I shout at him this time, next time, he will automatically make a point to not repeat the mistake, is a point of view I’ve heard. I don’t think I agree to this. If I am making some one perform a task by using force, then how whole-hearted-ly will the person perform that task? Wouldn’t it be a haphazard effort that he puts in for completing a task? Instead, a firm tone stating emphatic facts would make a lasting impact in my opinion. And this firm tone can/should be used every where – be it the local bus conductor or the BMW owner.

In similar lines of showing authority is the fact that we cane/scream at our children. By we, I refer to both parents and teachers. We call/think it is disciplining. Actually, we are just instilling fear in them. Aren’t we? Also, how long can we sustain the fear is a question. And what purpose does fear serve? Zilch in my opinion.

Lets look at this with an example. My son loves to snatch my hot cup of coffee. Every time, he does this, I tell him its dangerous. He doesn’t listen. I continue this for some time. No respite. Once, I scream at him. The next time, he doesn’t do this, out of fear that I will scream/beat him. The fact is that he has not understood what is the outcome of playing with a hot cup of coffee. He still doesn’t know it will hurt him to do that. He is too young to understand even if I explain to him. His curious mind will always look for a way of playing with it when I am not looking or when I am not around. So, what is the use of instilling fear in him?

I am also not sure if respect could stem out of fear. ‘Respect should be earned. Not ordered’.

The other day, I was discussing child abuse with my mom. She said such kind of people who do it should be shot down. I wasn’t sure if I should agree with her. I asked her how that would help. She said it would induce fear in other people to not indulge in such acts. But, would inculcating fear alone suffice for completely eradicating such evils? Wouldn’t any one who would want to do it work a way out of the policing to go on with their job? Then, what is the way out, she asked. I don’t know, I muttered. At least this is a start point, she said. May be. But I am not still convinced that this is the right start.

How many of us stop when the signal light shows a red, even when there is no police-man around? Even in the so called sophisticated West, I still believe rules are followed only because of the consequences imposed. I don’t litter the place because I know the 9-1-1 is watching. I stop at red because I know the 9-1-1 is watching. I believe a lot of our actions is based on the dire consequences we ought to face. Not on the rightness (or wrongness) of the actions, per se.

In all the above scenarios, I believe what is required is a change in the attitude. Morality should be taught. We should realise that our actions would result in another person’s suffering. We, from our heart, should understand that we are wrong. Only then education is of worth. Some. And only then, we are fit to be called human beings.